Excitement building!

I'm super excited for classes to start. I don't think I've been this excited since I was a freshman (WAY back in the day)  I have my supplies somewhat organized, I need to do some cleaning and organizing in my room-to make a more effective study area.

I have my list of books from the university website, so I can go get those sometime as well.

I made a weekly schedule so I have certain times throughout each day devoted to studying.  I've never done that before, and I think that will be a great help in staying on top of the workload.  I'm planning on only working weekends-so I have much more time during the week.  I've never worked only weekends before, I've always had availability during the week, and I think it hurt me, because I felt like I didn't want to do homework during breaks in classes, because then I had to work at night and I would get no "free" time.  So I put my availability for only the weekends-I hope it gets approved.  I will check the computer system at work tonight.

I'm also excited for the fall weather!  I'm definitely ready to be done with this horrid heat and especially the humidity.  I want to wear skirts and tights and scarves and hats. 

I have also come to the conclusion that I am the opposite of molasses; I move slower in summertime because of the heat-and I have less motivation to do things, because I don't want to get even more sticky than I am just sitting down.

No more Christian nice girl.

So, courtesy of one of the blogs I'm following, Full of Grace, Seasoned with Salt, I had a very shocking wake up call.

It was discussing a book, No More Christian Nice Girl,  and I realized that I am that "nice girl".  And basically in this post, it discussed the fact that being called nice is not really a compliment-and in fact, throughout history, it was an insult.

I looked up "nice" in my little pocket thesaurus and some of the synonyms include: pleasant, agreeable, polite, refined, careful, delicate, subtle, dainty.

I'm not saying that sometimes being nice isn't a good thing.  But rather than being nice, we should strive to be good.

I myself avoid confrontation at pretty much all costs, but what I need to realize is that there is a time and place for confrontation.  I should not be afraid to stand up for myself, a little anger at the right time can be a good thing, a good motivator.  In fact, every time I felt myself getting angry, I could frantically try to calm myself down.  In my mind, ever being angry or upset was such a bad thing.

I took the quiz on the same blog, and I got a score of 26, and a score higher than 10 means bad news-I am deep into the "nice person problem".

I am very much a people pleaser, I care too much what others think of me and I worry about how others see me.  This is such a deep rooted problem for me, I have some real self-esteem/self-confidence issues.  I am quite self conscious.

But I need to not be afraid to get angry and upset and stand up for what is right.  I am so good at just putting on a happy face and doing what everyone else wants me to do-even if I don't always feel comfortable with it.

Even writing this now, my heart aches.  I ache to be a better person; a good person, not necessarily a nice person.

Ready for Autumn

Well after yesterday's suffocating humidity, I am SO ready for Autumn to be here.  I am ready to get rid of the stickiness that is always clinging to everything during the summer.  I can't wait to be able to wear long skirts again (and not melt) and sweaters and scarves and hats. 

I am actually excited for classes too.  I feel like I'm finally on the right track.  I feel like I was on the track right next to "mine"-so I was going in the right general direction, but it wasn't quite fitting and I kept getting tripped up along the way.

I know what I have to do now, and I actually want to do it too.  I am only going to be available to work weekends at Target, so that will keep my school days free, but I will still be able to make some money.  I am looking into a job on campus just for about 10 hours a week or so-in one of the offices on campus.  If I don't find one, it's not a big deal, but it would be great for a little extra money.  Since winter is when it's tightest for my parents financially. 

I am going camping with my parents and a few cousins on the 23rd of this month.  It's something we do every summer.  So I am looking forward to that-and then Autumn can come. 

Family Pictures

I thought it was time to share some pictures of my family.

                      This is our Christmas picture from Christmas 2008-My dad, my brother, my mom and me!

                                                               My dad and my cat Sidney

                My mom and my cousin Bernice-this was a few years ago when we were camping-we go camping every summer with a few of my cousins-it's a way I get to see them more than just at Christmas.

Patience

Last night at work, I could feel myself getting very impatient at work with guests.  I realize this is one of my biggest weaknesses.  Most of the time with other situations and/or people, I am very patient-such as with children.  But with other adults in certain situations, I feel myself starting to get upset.  I'm not sure why as of yet.  I need to try to figure that out. 

But more importantly, I need to bring this to God.  He is the only one who can truly help me.  I need to continue to pray for his help because it's a fault I continue to struggle with.

This Romans 12:12 verse sums it up.

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."