Marriage Fears

When I think about my future-certain parts of it scare me so much.  Not the job part, and not technically the marriage part.

What I am so afraid of is being married and then 1) Getting a divorce 2) Finding out about an affair 3) Ending up in an abusive relationship.

These things scare me so much that it literally hurts my heart to think about what I would do if they ever happened to me.

I get a little panicky when I think about these things happening to me.

And it's not like I'm expecting perfection, not at all.

I just...want a marriage for life - I want someone to grow old with. I want someone who I can help and will help me through the ups and downs of life.  And will stay faithfully by my side through it all.

Because to me, cheating and abuse are totally unthinkable...very much deal-breakers.  I'm not sure what I should do/can do about this "paralyzing" fear. The only thing I can think of is prayer.

I also just got this neat book/journal for Christmas.  It's called God's Promises for a Woman's Heart.  So far I've only taken a few peeks, but I do look forward to really diving in heart first.

Reading list

I thought I'd share what I'm reading now and what is also on my list.

I literally just started reading "The Nice Girl Syndrome" I ordered this from the library and it just came in from another library.

Also on my list:

The Love Dare-I just bought it online from the Fireproof movie website.

The Five Love Languages-I ordered the "singles" version from the library.

Fireproof-the book, I also ordered that from the library.

I want to pick them up today-but the library is closed-so I'll have to wait until tomorrow-I'll stop by when I'm done with work. I'm really quite excited to start these books!