Marriage Fears

When I think about my future-certain parts of it scare me so much.  Not the job part, and not technically the marriage part.

What I am so afraid of is being married and then 1) Getting a divorce 2) Finding out about an affair 3) Ending up in an abusive relationship.

These things scare me so much that it literally hurts my heart to think about what I would do if they ever happened to me.

I get a little panicky when I think about these things happening to me.

And it's not like I'm expecting perfection, not at all.

I just...want a marriage for life - I want someone to grow old with. I want someone who I can help and will help me through the ups and downs of life.  And will stay faithfully by my side through it all.

Because to me, cheating and abuse are totally unthinkable...very much deal-breakers.  I'm not sure what I should do/can do about this "paralyzing" fear. The only thing I can think of is prayer.

I also just got this neat book/journal for Christmas.  It's called God's Promises for a Woman's Heart.  So far I've only taken a few peeks, but I do look forward to really diving in heart first.

A Prayer for Purity

Living a life of purity can be tough in today’s society, but know that you do not have to struggle alone. God stands ready and willing to help you. He loves to hear the prayers of His people, so pray and ask God for His assistance. You may utter your own prayer to God or simply use the prayer for purity listed below.

Lord, I love You and I want to please You. Thank You for loving me and for providing this opportunity to come into Your presence. I know that You honor Your Word and Your Word says, that if I confess my sins, You are faithful and just to forgive me of my sins. So right now, I thank You for filling me with Your Spirit and I humbly ask that you forgive me for my thoughts and actions that have grieved Your Spirit. I desire to live a life of purity and I want my very being to be aligned with Your Word.

I know that I am unable to live a life of purity without Your help, so I ask that You lead, guide and direct me in Your ways. Thank you for giving me the freedom of choice, but please help me to make wise choices in every area of my life. Despite what the world says is acceptable, help me to see sin as You see sin. Make me uncomfortable in my sin and in the things that displease You.

Lord, Your Word says, if I love You, I will obey You, so from this day forward I choose to honor and obey You. I want to live for You and I surrender my life and my will to You. Mold me into the woman of God You are calling me to be. No longer will I be bound by my past mistakes and failures. I am walking forward in the newness of life.

Lord, I don’t want to be selfish in my prayer for purity because I know I’m not the only one struggling to live a life of purity, so I pray not only for my purity but for the purity of others. Please help me not to cause anyone else to stumble. Also, help me to be an example of Your love and grace. Remind me of Your forgiveness that I may not judge others, but offer an encouraging word when they stumble.

I pray that the world will be drawn to You and seek to live a life of purity, Holy unto You and let it start with me. I want to stand boldly for you Lord, so please give me strength to stand when I’m weak. Speak to my heart and help me to recognize temptation and flee it. Make me more like You that I may be used for Your Glory.

I, Your daughter, offer this prayer for purity and restoration unto you as humbly as I know how.

In Jesus’ Name I pray,
Amen

Holy Spirit vs. the spirit of the world

John 14:6 "Jesus answered, 'I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'

As Christians, we are hilarious to the world we live in.  People think we are arrogant and ridiculous-yet unsophisticated in today's world.  But according to John 3:18, "Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's
one and only Son."  This verse shows that we are not arrogant, we are humble. 

We are humble because apart from God, we are condemned.  On my own, I am nothing.

The world only wants to see Jesus as a way, not the way.

Matthew 7:13, "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction and many enter through it.  But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."  Most people in this world are on the wide path.  This is why people call Christians arrogant.

Most people are filled with the spirit of the world, but a few are filled with the Holy Spirit.

Jesus Christ is the Way.  I will not water down my beliefs.

Our only hope is Jesus-the one way.  And he is not hiding, he is open for people to find.

Like a burning building with many doors; but only one way to safety.  God has called me to stand by that door and call to the "blind" and urge them to safety and life.  Is that arrogant?

Jesus Christ is the Way.  This is not what the world wants to hear, but what the world needs to hear.

Prayer without ceasing

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.  I Thessalonians 5:16-18

Today let's focus on "pray without ceasing".  How can that be?  We breathe without ceasing, and our hearts beat without ceasing.  Our other organs work behind the scenes and we don't consciously tell them to work for us.  Can we learn to pray as naturally as we breathe?

In the morning as we wake up we can talk to our God, "OK Father...I'm awake; I'm feeling a little tired and grumpy this morning but I give this day to You and choose to praise You instead!  I praise You for Your beautiful creation, thanks for a comfortable bed and for the breakfast You have provided.  Guide my steps today and show me Your ways."  Then it is time to listen.  This on-going conversation can become a natural part of our day.

So what if I'm feeling weak in spirit and mind and can't even voice my feelings?

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.   Romans 8:26-27

Continue to pray, focusing on people in your immediate surroundings, your family and your brothers and sisters at Valleybrook needing prayer.

Praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints. Ephesians 6:18

As we spend time praying, God has promised to show us exciting things!

Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.  Jeremiah 33:3

It will be exciting to change, grow and practice "prayer without ceasing" as it starts to become as natural as breathing.

More "Spring cleaning"

So with February winding down and Spring around the corner; I thought this would be a good time to do some "internal" spring cleaning. 

I still have some items left on my "normal" cleaning list-like vacuuming, organizing, etc.  But it is also time to take a look in the mirror and rid myself of bad habits any masks I might hide behind from time to time. 

I am watching The Biggest Loser right now online (because I have class 6-9 each Tuesday night and miss the whole thing) and I'm feeling inspired by them, I'm feeling inspired by my newest Self magazine that I just got in the mail yesterday. 

I need to work on clearing out my own mind-essentially forgiving myself of past sins.  Because I know the Father has forgiven me.  But the hardest part is forgiving myself and trying to move past the mistakes of my past.  God gave his Son for our sins, so I need to let them go myself so I can truly live for God. 

I need to realize that my friends love me for who I am-the quirky, nerdy, girlie that I am.  So I need to allow myself to open up to them-God brought them into my life for a reason.  They are just what I needed at this time in my life-especially our time on Sunday nights. 

I need to set aside more time for just Scripture and devotion.  I have not been doing that nearly as much as I know I should or want to.

But that is it for now.  I better go and get ready for work soon. 

God Bless.

New Bible Study!

Last night was my first night at a new Bible study.  I have a feeling it's going to be a good one.  There are some great women there.  I am greatly looking forward to learning from them and sharing with them.

Currently we are expanding on the "Live Out Loud" message during Sunday sermon.  It's the study of Philippians and Paul's imprisonment for Christ.