When I think about my future-certain parts of it scare me so much. Not the job part, and not technically the marriage part.
What I am so afraid of is being married and then 1) Getting a divorce 2) Finding out about an affair 3) Ending up in an abusive relationship.
These things scare me so much that it literally hurts my heart to think about what I would do if they ever happened to me.
I get a little panicky when I think about these things happening to me.
And it's not like I'm expecting perfection, not at all.
I just...want a marriage for life - I want someone to grow old with. I want someone who I can help and will help me through the ups and downs of life. And will stay faithfully by my side through it all.
Because to me, cheating and abuse are totally unthinkable...very much deal-breakers. I'm not sure what I should do/can do about this "paralyzing" fear. The only thing I can think of is prayer.
I also just got this neat book/journal for Christmas. It's called God's Promises for a Woman's Heart. So far I've only taken a few peeks, but I do look forward to really diving in heart first.
Musings about changing seasons
5 years ago
Hi Ledatangen, your blog has been listed at www.youngchristianbloggers.blogspot.com :)
ReplyDeleteHey,
ReplyDeleteStumbled across your blog on the blog listed in the comment above...haha.
Just wanted to say that marriage stops being scary when you find the person you love. I really struggled with these thoughts as well and gave them to God. That's right around the time I met my wife, and as soon as we started dating all those fears went away completely. Shortly thereafter we both knew we were going to get married. A little less than a year later we did, and now almost two years later we are having our first kid. Giving God your fears and letting Him take care of them will really help you. He does have something better planned for you to think about than your fears.